9(Nine) Souls starts out with 10 men sharing a prison cell, as they eat a meal in the cell one of the men becomes increasingly animated and seems to have lost his mind. As he is dragged from the cell he shouts the whereabouts of a hidden treasure to the others.

One of the 9 remaining prisoners is a famous jail breaker and finds a way for them to get out. As the men make a dash for freedom having emerged from a manhole, presumably having crawled through the sewers in their escape, the film's hip music comes in and the director Toshiaki Toyoda (Blue Spring, Pornostar) freeze frames on each of the nine individuals. In the momentary freezes, subtitles announce each characters name, the crime he committed, and the time he was serving in prison. Not only is this a cool scene but it also serves the dual purpose of introducing us to the nine leads and giving us a glimpse of their back stories, but also lets us know that to a man these people have committed a range of pretty despicable acts. By choosing characters who have committed acts of terror, murder of family members and friends, hardcore pornographers and alike Toyoda instantly robs the audience of the classic hero or even anti hero such as the cool Yakuza gangster to route for. It is clear that he is prepared to work to make you feel any kind of empathy or understanding of his characters. To add to this one of the first acts of freedom some of the men indulge in is the sodomising of a ram, the only qualm they seem to have with this is the fact it’s male and even then this is quickly dismissed as a problem.

One of the strange things about this tale of men escaping prison is the fact they stick together on escaping rather than splitting up and there for giving each individual more chance of evading capture, in the interviews with the director on the DVD he says this is based on a real life break he heard about in Texas where the escapees did just that. In the movie the plot device used is that of the treasure they are searching for known as the "key to the universe" which holds them together.

The escapees relieve a man who foolishly picks up nine men at night of his battered old red van and it is this vehicle that they spend the majority of the movie travelling across Japan in search of there prize and revealing more about there own back storeys and the many facets of their characters.

When I review films I try to avoid the classic blow by blow style which basically turns out to be more of a synopsis of the films plot. Not that there is anything wrong with that, in fact I guess that’s what some people look for, but I prefer to convey the feeling and style of the film and give an idea of why I feel it is to be sought out or avoided. In the case of a complex drama such as this describing the films feel is a little more difficult than say a bloody horror or exciting action film. 9 Souls feels surreal, but is not quite surrealism for the most part its what I would describe as “stylised normality.” Acts that seem somewhat surreal to us are less so when you consider just who these men are and how long they have been behind bars. If there is such thing as a normal person, then even he or she would be warped by sentences stretching well over a decade behind bars away from society and these guys by the acts they had already committed started off pretty far from normal in the first place. Nine Souls is a very brave, very hip, very well made and exceedingly clever drama which draws you in minute by minute. Its one of those movies that studies human nature without judging it, it just presents the story, shows us the characters and then with only the aid of ludicrously cool, but very fitting music and great direction lets us make up our own minds about that which we are seeing. The simple tale of prisoners on the run, turns into one of the best observations of the “Human Condition” I have ever seen, the film explores relationships, between the men, their past, the friends their families and with the world. It looks at the idea of freedom, what it is, if it exists and what it really means. It does not try to answer any of the questions it raises as that would take it into the realms of pretentiousness and it is clear Toyoda has no interest in going there. The questions raised are just for the audience to think over either as little or as much as they wish. The acting in this movie is first rate, there is no weak link among the nine leads each of them bringing a different and wonderful presence to the movie. This movie takes us on a joyride through the full spectrum of human emotion being equally happy as it is sad, comic as it is tragic, surreal as it is normal and so on. Toshiaki Toyoda 9 souls is not quite a masterpiece, but it’s close and I for one think there are some very great movies yet to come from this director.

To Sum up, 9 Souls is a bit like a beautiful river, if you look at the surface at an angle you can just take in the beauty of the river it self, but if you wish you can choose to look directly into the water and gaze at the miracles of life occurring beneath the surface.

America’s Dumbest Family embark on a disastrous house swap holiday where they encounter creatures whose master plan is to turn them into vegetables and eat them.

Troll 2; it’s not a sequel and there aren’t any trolls in it. No, really. And yes you should take that as a measure of the overall quality of this film. Totally unrelated to the original and no doubt superior Troll, Troll 2 actually features goblins with the dietary requirements of vegetarians who have honed their favourite meal to vegetables which are both man in size and man in origin. The trouble is, only Joshua, youngest of the Dumb family, knows their secret, for the cunning of these creatures is plenty as they masquerade as humans with a great sense of hospitality who, consequences abound, inhabit the town of Nilbog, which just happens to be the family’s holiday destination. So it is left to Joshua to save both his family and presumably mankind from becoming goblin fodder, which he does with the help of his dead Granddad and a bologna sandwich (a reference to the film in general, or just the hammy acting?)

I don’t know what is more disturbing about this film, the fact that it was ever made or the fact that it was made in 1990. Currently occupying position number 8 in the IMDB’s bottom 100 films poll and with a user rating of 1.8, this film belongs to the ‘so bad it’s good’ school of filmmaking. Despite all the actors being American and it actually being filmed in America, this is an Italian film, which may explain a few things (those guys sure made some weird crap didn’t they?) This film is so bad it’s quite unbelievable, though it is hugely entertaining for this very reason. This is definitely one of the best worst films I’ve ever seen; the acting is diabolical, the dialogue quite shockingly bad (there are so many superbly bad lines but my favourite has to be ‘you just pissed on hospitality’), terrible editing (I’m not really one for noticing continuity errors but there are some shockers here), crap effects (an awful lot of green poster paint and not a lot else) and costumes (potato sacks and masks no self respecting trick or treater would venture out in) , and just plain old peculiar story ideas (lust among popcorn being just one of them.)

Troll 2 is so worth a watch if, like me, you’re partial to really bad films and they make you laugh when you know they’re not supposed to. It seems to be generating a bit of a cult following theses days which is good to see because this film shouldn’t be written off as rubbish, there’s too much unintentional entertainment value to be had here. Although there were times during this peculiarly anti-vegetarian film when I did wonder if it was actually meant as a bit of a joke, or can it really be that bad? So, is it a joke on us or another nail in the Italian filmmaking coffin? I know where I stand on that one.

This is a tricky one to rate as it makes no contribution to filmmaking whatsoever in the usual sense, so in that respect it’d probably be ½/10. As sheer entertainment value goes I’d give it 8/10. If you come across a cheap copy bag yourself one and I promise you’ll have a laugh.

In turn of the century Mexico there is a blossoming, but forbidden, love between Tita and Pedro. Forbidden because Tita, as the youngest daughter of Mama Elena must, by family tradition, remain at home, unmarried, to look after her mother into old age and as Elena says, she won’t have her daughter be the one to break that tradition. In an oddly romantic gesture, Pedro accepts Elena’s’s offer of another daughter’s hand in marriage so that he may stay near to Tita. Unsurprisingly, this causes some complications in the family and a story which spans the generations.

If you can stand the heat get in the kitchen for director Alfonso Arau’s piping hot, straight from the oven, saucy serving of Laura Esquivel’s novel of the same name. Not so much a romance as a love story, and not so much erotic as sensual, this hot as a tamale Mexican treat is a dish best served sizzling. Set in a small Mexican ranch in 1910, this tale of star-crossed lovers has more kick to it than the usual fare and is far more palatable for it. In an epic and ill-fated love story worthy of any of the Classics, dashing young fellow with a grand head of hair, Pedro (Marco Leonardi) falls for not so much beautiful as pretty with a mischievous glint, widow’s daughter, Tita (Lumi Cavazos). Unfortunately for the pair, wicked Mama Elena (Regina Torne) forbids the union because of the cruel family tradition and so poor Tita must look on, Cinderella-like from the kitchen where most of her life is spent, as dull sister with digestive problems, Rosaura (Yareli Arizmendi), gets to wed her beau instead. Though this is not where this story ends, there is far more in store in this epic tale than love-lorn looks and frosty glances.

Much like our own period romps, Like Water For Chocolate (the literal translation of Mexican title Como Agua Para Chocolate, a saying used in reference to a state of sexual excitement) is more heaving bosoms than full-on sex scenes. But it is its boiling passion and cheeky humour that lift this to another level from our own tales of stiff upper lip’s and great Brirish reserve. Brimming with warmth, spirit and life, Like Water For Chocolate is a fairytale-like story narrated by Tita’s great niece who tells this matri-focal tale like it’s the stuff of legends, passed through generations of a family from female to female like an age-old recipe. And like an age-old recipe, you suspect it may have little touches added along the way but at its heart remains something unique and wholesome.
There is some great chracterisation in this film and wonderfully strong female leads. Quietly mischievous Tita and foppish and mildly pathetic Pedro are nicely matched by other couple of Tita’s gutsy flame-haired sister Gertrudis (Claudette Maille) and her rugged revolutionary on a horse husband, Juan (Rodolfo Arias). Fairytale elements are helped along by Kindly cook Nacha (Ada Carasco,) friendly helper Chencha (Pilar Aranda,) and of course, evil matriarch and self professed ‘crack-shot with a short fuse,’

Mama Elena. The culinary link gives it a gloriously earthy sensuality linked to nurturing femininity where women wobbled, loved to eat and ate to love and men looked on with desire. Though there is a lot of sadness, too, its tongue-in-cheek humour lifts it from any melodrama and bad things are not dwelt upon for long. Similarly, the humour takes the edge off the love story as the film has a wonderfully cheeky way of poking fun at itself, meaning it never gets too slushy. Though this isn’t so much a romance as a love story, and one beautifully tinged with magic and Mexican mysticism and bathed in the warmth of Nacha’s oven making it as visually delightful as Tita and Pedro’s love.

A grand love story set in the days when men were strong and silent and the women even more so. Finger licking, rump-spankingly delicious, Like Water For Chocolate really is ‘a feast for the senses’

A lonely girl with a lazy eye takes some drastic measures to make friends.

I'm ashamed to say that when I first spied May I judged the film by its cover. No sooner had I picked it up than I put it straight back down again, convinced I would be disappointed. I'm not usually one for rash rental decisions but, what can I say, I was short on money and time and I needed some entertainment, good entertainment. I'm pleased to say , though, that it did come my way via a reliable source who informed me, Fi, you've got to watch May, it's just your kind of film (or words to that effect.) So I did, and I think you should too.

May is a fantastic solo debut by writer/director Lucky McKee. It does have that debut film feel to it but as debut's go, it's pretty damn impressive. The story is so much deeper and more emotive than you'd expect from a horror but that in itself would not work nearly as well without such perfect casting and superb performances. Angela Bettis is just amazing in the title role and Jeremy Sisto, who I usually don't like for no good reason at all, makes some great facial expressions as the object of her affection. Anna Faris also works just as well as a strangely amusing bimbo.
Without giving too much away, the film takes an uncomfortable look at the life of a girl who has spent her whole time as a social outcast. Ok, so there are some areas that people will find a little simplistic and obvious, but May's descent into madness and her ultimately brutal attempt to help herself is so beautifully captured you'd have to have a heart of stone not to have a tear in your eye. The plot in itself is far from complex but the complexities of the film lie in its emotions and the way you feel about May herself (I personally would like to take her home and wrap her up in a blanket whilst simultaneously calling for some much needed psychiatric assistance.)
Aside from great performances and a touching storyline, there's some impressive editing, a cracking soundtrack and a social commentary the likes of which I haven't seen before (though this will, no doubt, go over the heads of those non-conformist horror fans who just want to be like May.) Whilst it is a horror, those looking for a consistent and high level of gore will be disappointed. The gore it does contain is neither glamorised nor played for laughs, it just is as the raw product of a sadly demented mind. If, however, you like your horror raw and mixed in with a tale to make you laugh and cry, you should definitely give May a go.

Scouple's away, Kleenex out and prepare for a beautiful debut film. A solid 8/10

This 1983, 34-minute short film comes from director Robert Harmon, on the strength of which he was given the task of helming his next project, 1986's road movie thriller The Hitcher. Harmon's first directorial project, China Lake, was intended to showcase his talents as a director, the field he hoped to move to from still and motion picture photographer. Shot over 11 days in 1981, the film experienced extended post-production, which gave rise to the two year delay in release. The finished product, viewed as an extra on The Hitcher DVD, clearly shows why he got picked up for the feature-length project.

Charles Napier, the recognisably-faced and guttural-voiced star of many an American series, plays Donnelly, a friendly-faced highway cop with an unusual vacation pastime. Ever the dedicated worker, Donnelly dons his uniform and mounts his motorcycle ready to patrol the dusty desert roads for anything untoward, even on his China Lake break. The only thing untoward out there on the road, though, is Donnelly himself, whose actions in the line of duty incorporate a rather sinister aspect. 

The build-up to The Hitcher is evident here, similarly shades of Spielberg's TV movie extraordinaire, Duel, are also apparent. Harmon works well the classic premise of authority gone to pot as the figure of abiding law calmly and quietly goes off the rails. Napier is perfectly cast as the lone and apparently sane figure who is anything but, and Harmon's direction is knowingly confident for a first-time effort. The cinematography makes good use of the oppressively barren surroundings, and shots of the physically impressive Napier exercising out in the desert undersore just what this film's about. At 34 minutes, this is a perfectly-formed mini-movie which uses to full effect the always frightening idea of carefully controlled lunacy, particularly in an authority figure. Beth Tate, who co-wrote with Harmon, went on to produce a TV movie, The China Lake Murders, based on this film in 1990 which sounds like it may well be worth hunting down for some more of Donnelly's dastardly doings.

Buy It: amazon.co.uk (China Lake appears as an extra on the region 2 Special Edition DVD of the Hitcher released by Momentum Pictures)

Fenix, the young son of two circus owners/performers, witnesses his father’s mutilation of his mother and consequential suicide and is subsequently institutionalised, but it is only when his limbless mother returns for him that his sordid journey really begins.

There are some films so infamous amongst the cult movie fraternity that they are totally preceded by their reputation, a sort of Holy Grail spread by word of mouth that tells of legendary levels of obscurity that must be sought out, regardless of quality, which, after all, is not necessarily the subject of these mutterings. Alejandro Jodorowsky’s Santa Sangre (Holy Blood) is just such a film by an equally iconic director whose career made up in potency for what it lacked in quantity and, in this instance, leads us up a Holy Mountain to what is widely considered the pinnacle of his career. But, as is often the question with something so infamous, is it actually any good?

“You’re about to witness the ultimate miracle; the transformation of death into life.” There are no truer words to sum up a film so utterly brimming with life despite its mournful content than those spoken by Fenix himself. Santa Sangre is, in its bare bones form, a serial killer film. Though there is plenty of psychoanalytic territory to be had here, it is not a film about death but about life, where killing is a concern rather than a subject. Jodorowsky places no importance upon investigation or retribution but every emphasis on unfaltering hope, where enlightenment is a subconscious journey and love brings redemption. It is an extremely expressive film, playing in its entirety like a performance steeped in influences not only from a rich cinematic heritage but also from Jodrowsky’s own multifarious life. Where his films have been relatively few and far between, they are complimented by his foray into a wide range of artistic reaches which have come to bear heavily on them, and Santa Sangre is no exception.

Though Santa Sangre is a complex film with its religious imagery and psychoanalytic implications, it is in essence a simple tale of an awakening from a damaged subconscious. From the extended flashback introduction, we bear witness to the sights which cause Fenix to retreat to his silent ‘eagle’ existence, rejecting human life or contact but for the Down syndrome children he is institutionalised with. It is with them that he encounters the Tattooed Woman (Thelma Tixou), a sight which jolts him from his near-somnambulistic state into a horrific resurrection. It is then that his mother returns for him, calling him out into a street empty but for the billowing wall of smoke into which they are proceeding. With this one powerful image, Jodorowsky lets us know that the fire has started from which Fenix (Phoenix) must surely rise.
Intrinsic to this film’s vibrancy is the Mexican culture which Jodorowsky mixes with artistic ease, blending the colours and sounds with marginalised groups and passionate circus life. His fondness for ‘freaks’ is used to the most natural and moving effect as they perform like shepherds on Fenix’s necessary but harrowing journey of realisation. Similarly unaffected is the use of music. Instruments play their own performance in the hands of clowns who play them as emotions with gently comic effect. Jodorowsky mixes his cinematic influences with similar ease, bringing together elements of horror, classical studio system and surrealist filmmaking. But it isn’t his artistic eye or uncanny ability fuse cultural and cinematic influences with seamless effortlessness that makes Santa Sangre the original, beautiful and surprisingly endearing piece of cinema it undoubtedly is. Coupled with Axel and, in flashback sequence, younger brother Adan Jodorowsky’s genuinely heartfelt and unassuming performances as the sensitive and delusional Fenix, it is father Alejandro’s passionate presentation of a life less ordinary that brings this film to life. It is amongst the ‘marginalised’ groups, the freaks, pimps, prostitutes, transsexuals, giants and dwarves that the richest of lives exists, the most touching of friendships and the most pure, sincere and redemptive love.

One of the most beautiful films you could ever have the good fortune to see. Horrific, powerful, tender and unconstrained, Santa Sangre is not only an incredible cinematic achievement but also an absolute pleasure to experience. I love this film 10/10

Cannibal Flesh Riot! is a half hour short (29 for the "festival cut and 34 for the directors cut) that follows to ghouls as they go about their business one dark night.

Under used amongst classic monsters The Ghoul is a humanoid flesh eater. Not to be confused with Vampires who though sometimes are depicted as munching the flesh of the living (though normally just suck blood) or Zombies who eat the flesh of the living or dead. Unlike Zombies (and vampires in some tales) Ghouls are alive and though they do eat human flesh, they are content to munch on the dead (at least in director Gris Grimleys realisation of these mythical prowlers of the night).

Cannibal Flesh Riot! follows a night in the lives of two modern day American Ghouls called Stash and Hub. On the night in question they are once again hunting for dinner and that means grave robbing. Having knocked out the drunken caretaker all that remains is to find the cadaver of a recently deceased man Stash read about in the newspaper obituary. What follows is a routine (for the ghouls) night of searching the grave yard, while stash offers a variety of opinions on condiments and how they can be used to spice up a one food diet. Hub is somewhat afraid of condiments having once watched and educational cartoon for kids which features food people drowning as a warning to kids about putting too much on their food.

The project originally cam together when ex Nekromantic (a psychobilly band) guitarist Peter Sandorff approached multi talented artist Gris Grimly to see if he could combine their music and art. This had me worried as I thought "Oh god it’s going to be a clichéd extended guitar driven music video". How ever Peter Sandorff scoring is great adding a real atmosphere to the short and he keeps things pretty understated until the track over the title. Which is fine I have no problem with a full on song for the titles. The short takes place in a 50's style B movie setting and considering its shot on what was then the best consumer digital video it surpasses many films shot on much more expensive equipment. Grimley artistic eye has transferred well to "film" from fine art and comic style illustration. Cannibal Flesh Riot! Is one of those short films that are not trying to be a feature cut down. Its a shame that like short fiction there is not really a wider outlet for these films too short to really sell outside of a dedicated fan base and only real seen by festival audiences. I say that because like short fiction short film is an art in and of itself when done right and Cannibal Flesh Riot! is a great example of good short film making. I loved the combination of silent era style make up, Rami styling (Within the Woods, Evil dead) the 50's style set and dashes stop motion. Especially the stop motion, its something I personally just love to see used. I also thought it was brilliant the way Stash and hubs extended dialogue is witty, but routed in the mundane.

Grimley, Sandorff and crew have created and excellent short that's well worth going out of your way to see. If you can catch it at a festival or it becomes available to buy I highly recommend you. They spent a measly $6000 once again proving that while low budgets will always place restrictions, a healthy dose of talent can often deliver the goods anyway.

A lovingly crafted and brilliantly realized short from a very talented director and crew. 9/10

Cannibal Flesh Riot! - official website | www.myspace.com/cannibalflesh | Trailers